K.M. thank you for taking the time to leave a thoughtful response. I don't want to get into a debate, but I do want to clarify something.
It was not at all my intention to argue that being transgender itself is rooted in gender ideology. That's why I made the concession that being trans would make for a legitimate reason to specify one's pronouns. When I mentioned gender ideology, I was making specific reference to the idea that biological sex, gender identity, and sexual orientation vary independently.
It seems to me that one can be a firm believer in the fixed, binary nature of sex and/or gender, and still be transgender (or supportive of transgendered people) without any contradictions. In fact, I think it's more consistent that way.
The experience of feeling trapped in the wrong body implies that there is a strong and predictable association between biological sex and gender, except in the case of a transgendered person in which there is a mismatch between the two. The fact that this mismatch is the source of so much pain and discomfort, and that re-aligning the two by transitioning seems to fix the problem, is actually evidence against the notion that gender is fluid or socially constructed.
In other words, transgender individuals are the exceptions that prove the rule: sex, and gender are parts of the same package, and together they constitute the categories of what we traditionally have called "man" and "woman" - such that when the two parts don't feel like they match up, the result is the misery that you described: "suicidal ideation, self-harm, and alcohol abuse."
At least that is the viewpoint that makes the most sense to me at this point in my understanding.
All that is to say, I agree that we don't know enough about sex and gender to fully understand the predicaments of people like yourself. But I fully support your decision to transition, especially if it has made a positive impact on your life.
I just think that it is a massive over-reaction to go from acknowledging the existence of transgendered people, to pretending that we're all potentially transgender, until we declare otherwise, which is what pronoun sharing seems to imply.
